Parenting 101: What I Would Do Differently if I Had it to Do All Over Again

When I was a young man, I was convinced that I could become the father to my own children that my own father was incapable of being to me as I was growing up. Now that I am in late middle age, at 63, I fully realize how totally clueless we all are as we embark on the life journey of raising and parenting children. The way life is supposed to work is that the older and wiser men of the truth and God teach and impart the wisdom, knowledge and experience they have accumulated over their lifetimes to the next generation of young men and women so that their own children may be spared many of the mistakes and heartaches that we wizened old geezers committed due to our ignorance and our cluelessness. Yet generation after generation, mankind fails to get it and we repeat the mistakes of our forefathers, seemingly ad infinitum.

This article is my attempt at sharing what I have learned through the school of hard knocks and much study and research on what it takes to raise healthy, well-adjusted children in a harmonious home who go on to become difference-makers in their own generation. After all, that ought to be the goal of every intentional parent. More than anything else, I hope this article may contribute to revealing what we are doing that is so wrong that has led us to the precipice we now stand on, in which the world as we know it will soon come to an abrupt and shocking end. I cannot stop the inevitable collapse of human civilization that I am referring to here. But for some of us, this is not the end of life; not by a long shot. And I am convinced that the mistakes we have made in this life and in this fallen world, are designed to prepare those of us of God’s elect for an eternity with God, Christ and each other in which we can learn and vastly benefit from our past mistakes, to our benefit and the benefit of those whose lives we might touch in the eternal future.

Background and Disclaimer

I am the father of three twenty-something year olds from whom I am permanently estranged — by their choice, not mine. By most external yardsticks, they are doing fine. All three have graduated from college and are working and living on their own away from home. Two of my children did extraordinarily well in school, graduating from high school with GPAs of 4.6 due to their having earned A’s (5.0 GPA) in a number of their honors and advanced placement classes. My two sons both earned their junior black belts in karate which they practiced for six or more years each. My daughter excelled as a competitive swimmer and as a high school drama student for all four years of her high school career. I once had unusually close relationships with my younger son and my daughter. But by late high school or early college that all changed with both of them. It took me a long time to fully understand what was happening and more importantly, why.

Today, I am the father of three fools, as the Bible defines and describes that term. A fool is a morally deficient person. He usually thinks quite highly of himself, but knows very little about life and how to engage with others in true, authentic and meaningful relationships. A fool is unwise, lacks sense and exhibits poor judgment. He has no interest in the truth and fails to accept correction, instruction, wisdom and sound advice. He suppresses and tries to silence the truth by his own unrighteous behaviors. There is no joy for the father of a fool. Here’s what the Bible teaches us in this regard:

“He that begetteth a fool doeth it to his sorrow: and the father of a fool hath no joy.” Proverbs 17:21

“A foolish son is a grief to his father, and bitterness to her that bare him.” Proverbs 17:25

My story and experience as a father in America today is not in the least bit unusual or unique. In fact, it is the prevailing norm, and this is by the intentional design of the Khazar “jewish” Illuminati Freemason Zionist global elite worshippers of Satan who have hijacked and rule our nation and our world today. Karl Marx articulated this plan quite clearly in his 1848 book, The Communist Manifesto, in which he articulated three distinct targets for destruction at the hands of international Communism:

  1. Abolition of private property
  2. Elimination of the traditional family
  3. Destruction of Christian morality

Communism is a “jewish” construct in service to the aims of Satan to bring misery, suffering and destruction to all of mankind. It is a total con job from top to bottom. If you understand the aims of the devil, Communism as a belief system reveals itself to be a deception and a fraud designed to enslave the masses in endless lies forever. The elimination of the traditional family, something that is nearly complete in western civilization today, is directed at turning each successive generation of children into wards of the State and make them wicked fools who are easy to manipulate and control by the elites through an endless array of psychological ploys and deceptions.

So it is in this context of a world that is rigged against healthy families, healthy family relationships, fathers, husbands and men that today’s father must navigate. Given this unfortunate reality today, it is the rare father who is not a father of fools today.

What Does the KJV of the Bible Teach us is God’s Way for Husbands, Wives and Children to Engage with One Another?

It is always tempting to assume that the parenting models that we witnessed growing up in our parents’ homes were the way family life was supposed to operate. It seldom is. Hence, the wise man ought to seek out the owner’s manual to all of life, and the source of all wisdom, knowledge and understanding, to see what it has to teach on the important subject of effective parenting. When we do such a thing, as I have, we discover that the Bible teaches parenting principles which our deceitful, deceived and demonic culture completely rejects and contradicts at almost every turn.

Children are Born as Barbarian Savages who Need to be Civilized

In the 1950s and later, pediatrician Dr. Benjamin Spock taught multiple generations of women and mothers that every child was born innocent and perfect and that the primary function of all good parenting was to show one’s children unconditional love. This is utter hog wash.

The Bible teaches that we are all born sinful, selfish, depraved, separated from a right relationship with God and heading for hell when we die. In other words, we are all born to lose at life.

“The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?” Jeremiah 17:9

“Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.” Proverbs 22:15

In other words, Dr. Spock could not have taught more wrongly. Moreover, nowhere in the Bible does it teach parents to love their children unconditionally without regard to whether their children’s behaviors are acceptable and respectful or not. In fact, the Bible teaches us repeatedly that God’s love for His chosen elect is conditional: He expects and demands that we fear Him, keep all His commandments and trust Him fully in all things. When we do not, what is God’s inevitable response towards us? He chastises and disciplines us in order to bring correction to our foolish and self-destructive actions. Similarly, we are taught throughout the Bible, especially in the Book of Proverbs, to teach our children what true wisdom looks like and where to find it from a very early age and to be vigilant and bring correction, rebuke and discipline early to all forms of rebellion and defiance against our authority as their fathers and parents. The ultimate objective in all such correction is to teach our children from an early age that God entrusts others who are older, wiser and more experienced to provide, protect, teach and lead us until we are able to do those things for ourselves.

Those of us who have raised children know that they all come wired to test and challenge our authority and our resolve as parents to maintain order, rules and discipline in our homes at every opportunity. Nowhere is this truth more apparent than when kids figure out that mom and dad are not fully in agreement with and fully supportive of one another when it comes to how to properly raise, teach and discipline their children. Kids quickly pick up on which parent is the one who is more easily conned and manipulated into letting the kids have their way at the expense of proper respect of parental authority, order, harmony and mutual support in the home.

God Has Ordained a Clear Hierarchy of Authority in all Families

No organization of two or more people can function properly and smoothly without clear roles, responsibilities, understanding and agreement on who leads and who follows when it comes to defining a vision, goals and acceptable norms of behavior within the organization. A family is no different in this regard. So it should come as no surprise that God teaches us these very principles in the Bible. Nor ought it to surprise any reader to realize that God’s Biblical wisdom concerning these matters are aggressively challenged, resisted, demeaned and ridiculed by our foolish and demonic culture.

The Apostle Paul teaches repeatedly what God’s model is for mankind. The husband in any family is called upon by God to provide for, protect, teach and lead his wife and family as its head, and the wife is called to submit to her husband’s headship and support, encourage and respect him as he strives to meet his very challenging calling from God. Children are commanded to honor and obey both their parents. Moreover, Paul explains that while the man and husband is head over his wife and family, Christ is the head of man and God is the head of Christ and that God has ordained this hierarchy for all of our protection and best interests. Here are some of the clearest teachings in the Bible on these points:

“But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ (the Messiah); and the head of the woman is man; and the head of Christ (the Messiah) is God (Eloah).” 1 Corinthians 11:3

“For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.” 1 Corinthians 11:8-9

“Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing gold, or of putting on apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek (humble) and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God (Eloah) of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God (Eloah), adorned themselves, being in subjection to their own husbands: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.” 1 Peter 3:1-6

“Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them (your wives) according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.” 1 Peter 3:7 (Parenthetical added for clarity)

“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord (our Adon). For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ (the Messiah) is head of the church: and he is the savior of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ (the Messiah), so let wives be to their own husbands in every thing.” Ephesians 5:22-24

“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ (the Messiah) also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord (the Messiah) the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ (the Messiah) and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence (respect and honor) her husband.” Ephesians 5:25-33 (Parenthetical added for clarity)

“Children, obey your parents in the Lord (our Adon) for this is right. Honour they father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.” Ephesians 6:1-3

“And ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition (warnings) of the Lord (our Adon). Ephesians 6:4 (Parenthetical added for clarity)

When we examine these verses and meditate on them as a whole, what are they teaching us? That husbands, wives and children each have a vitally important role to play in family peace and harmony. Yet these teachings are contradicted by the demonic philosophy of feminism which teaches that “women need men about as much as fish need bicycles,” and our atomistic family culture elevates the individual and his rights, freedoms and liberties above his responsibilities to the family unit. When this happens, the inevitable result is chaos, anarchy and endless pain and suffering in the family. When conflict inevitably arises in this environment, the State is summoned by wives or children to abuse and emasculate husbands and fathers. The only logical response, driven by the need for self-survival, is for men to withdraw and have little or nothing to do with their rebellious and disrespectful wives and children. Husbands choose to escape to their man caves, go play golf with their buddies, or go hunting and fishing and clueless wives sit there wondering why they find themselves alone and very angry. The reason is because someone sold them a bill of goods that is a lie.

What I Would Do Differently if I Had it to Do over Again

Knowing what I now know that I did not know 40 years ago, if I had to do marriage, family and parenting all over again armed with the knowledge that the last 40 years of trials, suffering and mistakes have brought me, I would do several things remarkably differently:

  1. I was an agnostic when I married my first wife who was secretly an anti-Christian. But since I was not born again in the Spirit and was not Biblically educated and wise, I had no clue what the long-term ramifications of this would be on my life. So if I were a born again Christian, I would seek to marry a godly, Proverbs 31 wife who was as committed to doing God’s will and submitting our lives to the word of God as my new wife Marsha and I now are.
  2. Before getting married, I would spend a great deal of time making sure that my bride-to-be and I were entirely in agreement on how to and how not to effectively parent, raise and discipline children. My first wife majored in Child Development in college and so I naturally assumed that she was the expert in that field. It turned out that she was not. She had a lot of foolish notions about children and child rearing that amounted to indulging children’s every desire and never bringing correction to them of any kind, lest it damage their delicate psyches. This is how she was permissively raised and indoctrinated in her schooling and she was bound and determined to replay that same script that her mother before her had lived out, regardless of whether or not I was in agreement with such a plan. As it turned out, I was not, and it resulted in lots of conflict once the kids began to arrive.
  3. I would have seen to it that my children were home schooled, rather than sending them through the public school system as we did. I went through the public school system as a child in my own day, but since then, things have changed radically and they no longer teach children how to think critically for themselves. They are merely indoctrination, brainwashing and social re-engineering centers.
  4. I would have insisted on leading family Bible readings every evening and encouraging each of my children to read the Bible on their own for a minimum of 20 minutes a day and encourage them to ask me questions about what they read and talk about its relevance to their day-to-day lives. Today, every night as we are getting ready to go to sleep, my new wife Marsha and I read together a chapter from the Book of Proverbs which corresponds to the day of the month and a page from a daily devotional I have been reading for the past ten years whose entries are always quite thought-provoking. Throughout our day, we often refer back to what we have read in Proverbs recently, especially as it concerns the telltale behaviors of the wicked and the foolish as taught there to those of us who seek to become wise.
  5. I would have sat each one of my children down and explained to them what I now know, that I did not know then: that our entire world is a massive web and Matrix of endless lies, illusions and deceptions and that the only way to find your way out of this is to fear God, keep all His commandments, and trust Him fully. Only then will God reveal the truth to those seeking to know God as He truly is and as He reveals Himself to His born again elect who diligently seek to know Him through the infallible and inspired words of the KJV of the Bible. I would have then taught them that 99% of the people they will ever meet will never be able to see the Matrix and will not be able to handle the truth. I would have taught them that such people are not desirable companions for them to hang out with.
  6. I would never have encouraged or allowed my sons to practice the martial arts or play video games. These are two common pathways to demon spirit affliction, infestation or possession.
  7. I would never have enabled my younger son to attend heavy metal rock concerts as I did many times, being totally ignorant and unware of the spiritual dangers he was being exposed to until it was too late.
  8. I would have actively taught my sons and daughter what it means to be an authentic masculine man and an authentic feminine woman and what to look for in a potential spouse. I didn’t learn these concepts until it was too late for my children who were already thoroughly brainwashed by their grandmother and mother, their public school education and our depraved culture. But knowing what I now know, I would teach my sons that their role in life is to provide for, protect, teach and lead their wives and children as I attempted to do and to lead by my own good example as I was raising them. Likewise, I would have taught my daughter that a wise woman ought to model her character and behaviors after the traits of a Proverbs 31 woman as taught in Proverbs 31:10-32 in support of her husband. Moreover, I would have taught her to support and encourage the calling God has placed on her husband’s life and respect and defer to him so that she might empower him to effectively lead her and her future children. I would have taught my sons to use what an authentic and godly woman looks like to seek out a suitable and compatible mate for themselves and I would have taught my daughter the equivalent of what to look for in a suitable and compatible mate for her. Above all, none of these teachings and words would have meant anything if my children did not see this model of how husbands and wives can and should effectively engage with one another in the daily interactions between myself and my ex-wife. She’s now my ex-wife because she refused to even consider living in accordance with Biblical teachings of how God has designed husbands and wives to interact with one another.
  9. I would have taught my children that in spite of the fact that God, Christ and the KJV of the Bible are the only sources of true wisdom, knowledge and understanding, that all forms of organized religion are frauds and psychological ploys of the devil, designed to lead people away from the truth and from the full teachings of the Bible. I would have taught them to have nothing to do with any form of church or organized religion under any circumstances. As it was, they witnessed me going off to church every Sunday for years before I finally figured out what total frauds and con jobs they all are.

Having shared all of this with you, my readers, I have no regrets in my own life. I made some mistakes and failed to do all of these things in my own life as a husband and as a father, but only because I was ignorant and didn’t know any better. My purpose in sharing this with you, my readers, is to educate and equip you now so that you can avoid making some of the same mistakes I made and so that you might mentor, teach and coach younger people to do the same things.

Everything that has ever happened to any of us has occurred in accordance with God’s sovereign will. In my case, He clearly willed for me to be ignorant and to make many of these mistakes so that I might learn from them and share what I learned with others, as I am now doing. I fully recognize that God predestined all of what happened in my life to happen precisely as it occurred. Sadly, God created my three children to number among the non-elect so as to afflict and abuse me and to drive me into the protective arms of God and of Christ. This result for me was all the more inevitable in light of God’s prophecies concerning the generation of my children here in the final days of these end times:

“There is a generation that curseth their father, and doth not bless their mother. There is a generation that are pure in their own eyes, and yet is not washed from their filthiness. There is a generation, O how lofty are their eyes! and their eyelids are lifted up. There is a generation, whose teeth are as swords, and their jaw teeth as knives, to devour the poor from off the earth, and the needy from among men.” Proverbs 30:11-14

“The eye that mocketh at his father, and despiseth to obey his mother, the ravens of the valley shall pick it out, and the young eagles shall eat it.” Proverbs 30:17

“Rid me, and deliver me from the hand of strange children, whose mouth speaketh vanity, and their right hand is a right hand of falsehood:” Psalm 144:11

Ultimately, every child has been created by God as one of His elect vessels of honor fitted unto God’s mercy, or as one of His vessels of dishonor fitted unto God’s wrath and eventual destruction. The former type of children will manifest a teachable spirit, accept parental correction and become wiser and more righteous and upright for it. The latter type of children will mock and scoff at what we as parents may teach them, will not accept our correction and discipline and will become wicked and foolish. Almost always, children of this latter type will manifest disrespect and verbally abusive behaviors toward one or both parents.

Our goal as parents ought to be to raise our children to become wise, upright, righteous, kind, compassionate difference-makers in their own generation. But only those children who are of the elect vessels of honor are capable of ever truly attaining this godly character. Parents of such godly and righteous children are truly blessed and have every reason to be eternally grateful to God for such blessings. Sadly, most of us who are parents today are burdened with one or more children who manifest the character traits of non-elect vessels of dishonor.

Raising such children is fraught with challenges and often ends in great disappointment that require parents to learn to set and maintain firm boundaries with their children and to hold them accountable for their destructive behaviors with consistent and firm consequences in the hope that such well-deserved consequences will bring our errant children to their senses and treat us with the respect and honor that God commands all children to show their parents.

Many times, such consequences and boundaries are of only limited effectiveness. In such instances we, as parents, need to be prepared to turn our backs on our abusive and disrespectful children and let the Law of the Harvest (you reap what you sow) exact its painful consequences upon our foolish and rebellious children. In these final days of these end times, it is quite likely that such parental correction and firm boundaries will not be of much effect upon a child’s behaviors. In such instances of rebellion, we must be prepared to insist that our errant children move out of our homes and we must choose to have nothing to do with them unless or until they amend their foolish ways and confess and repent of their abusive and disrespectful behaviors toward us. At the very least, it removes their dramas from further inflicting pain and abuse upon us as their parents.

Yahushua (Christ) fully forewarned us that He came to bring not peace, but a sword to some of our closest family relationships:

“And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death. And ye shall be hated of all men for my name’s sake: but he that endureth to the end shall be saved.” Matthew 10:21-22

“Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to bring peace, but a sword. For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. And a man’s foes shall be they of his own household. He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me. He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.” Matthew 10:34-39

If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple. And whosoever doth not bear his cross, and come after me, cannot be my disciple.” Luke 14:26-27.

The point Yahushua is making here is that true faith in Him and following after Him in obedience faithfully will inevitably place severe strains on many of our family relationships. He is employing hyperbole in Luke 14:26 when He seems to be telling us that we must hate our family members closest to us, but that is not what He intends as we can discern from the context of the verses immediately following this quoted passage. What He’s telling us is that as God’s elect, we will be vigorously, and often viciously and cruelly opposed and persecuted by our own family members by virtue of our submission and devotion to Christ and to submitting to and obeying all of His commandments to us.

Often, raising and parenting children becomes one of our toughest trials that tests how deeply committed we are to remaining true to the principles of wise living which YHWH and Yahushua teach us in God’s inspired and infallible words of the Bible. That certainly has been a painful cross I have been called upon to bear as a godly father. I suspect for many of you, my readers, this is a painful trial you too have had to endure as parents as well.

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