The Fallacy of Unconditional Love

One of the claims made, usually by self-professing Christian women, is that God’s love is unconditional, and thus that all human beings are morally called to love every other human being without conditions. But what does this really mean and is there the least bit of support for such a fallacious notion in the Bible? It turns out that both simple common sense and a proper grasp of what the Bible teaches from beginning to end proves beyond any reasonable doubt that the notion of God’s love being unconditional could not be more wrong or more foolish. The purpose of this article is to expose this fraud of the devil for what it is: nothing more than a monstrous con job.

In 1946, Jewish Dr. Benjamin Spock first published his now infamous book, Common Sense Book of Baby and Child Care, which contradicted any prior teachings of effective parenting. Instead of stressing the importance of teaching children the importance of self-denial and respect for authority, Spock discouraged directive training and instead emphasized accommodating children’s feelings and catering to their preferences. In short, Spock began his teachings with the deliberately flawed premise that children are born inherently good, selfless and pure and that improper parenting and excessive discipline warps and injures children’s allegedly delicate psyches.

Had Dr. Spock’s book withered and died on the trash heap of history, as it should have, America and the rest of the world would have dodged a dangerous and toxic bullet. But sadly, it did not. Instead, Spock’s book, which has sold over 50 million copies, has been translated into more than 40 languages and according to one report, is second in sales only to the Bible. This is a great travesty, because Spock’s philosophies on child rearing are sheer nonsense and inevitably result in creating in children raised under it in narcissism, a sense of entitlement and victim thinking that rivals the foolishness and destructiveness of radical feminism in western society.

Anyone who has been a parent knows that all children are born as barbarian, uncivilized, self-centered little savages who need to be carefully disciplined to be able to function properly in any form of civilized society. Novelist William Golding, in his book, The Lord of the Flies, tells the horrific, but entirely credible and realistic tale of a group of young adolescent boys who are shipwrecked on a deserted island who, without the benefit of adult supervision and guidance, savagely abuse and ultimately kill quite horrifically one of their own. The moral to the story is that without the civilizing and taming influences of healthy adults, children grow up to become savage brutes, which is more the norm, rather than the exception in our world gone mad today. It was no accident that Golding entitled his book the way he did.  Lord of the Flies is yet another name for Satan or the devil.

The book of wisdom, the Book of Proverbs in the Bible, is replete with teachings on how to raise children to become wise, godly human beings and difference makers for good in their own generation. Here are but a few of those teachings:

“Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.” Proverbs 22:15

“My son, despise not the chastening of the LORD (YHWH); neither be weary of his correction: For whom the LORD (YHWH) loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth. Happy is the man that findeth wisdom, and the man that getteth understanding.” Proverbs 3:11-13

“Hear O my son, and receive my sayings; and the years of thy life shall be many. I have taught thee in the way of wisdom; I have led thee in right paths. When thou goest, thy steps shall not be straitened; and when thou runnest, thou shalt not stumble. Take fast hold of instruction; let her not go: keep her; for she is thy life. Enter not into the path of the wicked, and go not in the way of evil men. Avoid it, pass not by it, turn from it and pass away.” Proverbs 4:10-15

“My son, keep they father’s commandment, and forsake not the law of thy mother: Bind them continually upon thine heart, and tie them about thy neck.” Proverbs 6:20-21

“He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.” Proverbs 13:24

“Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.” Proverbs 23:13-14

“Train up a child in the way that he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6

“And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.” Deuteronomy 6:6-7

“Chasten they son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.” Proverbs 19:18

“A fool despiseth his father’s instruction: but he that regardeth reproof is prudent.” Proverbs 15:5

“Even a child is known by his doings, whether his work be pure, and whether it be right.” Proverbs 20:11

“The fear of the LORD (YHWH) is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction.” Proverbs 1:7

So the wisdom of the ages teaches us that the teachings of Dr. Spock fail to take into consideration the reality that all of us are born selfish, willful, sinful, separated from a right relationship with YHWH (God) and bound for hell when we die. Modern day humanism teaches the blatant lie from the Age of Enlightenment that all men are born basically good, and this is the premise on which Spock’s destructive philosophy of permissiveness is founded upon. Since his starting premise was dead wrong, his teachings and philosophies on effective parenting were doomed to fail and fail big time, as well they have.

As we witness our nation and world today, anyone with the least bit of honesty and integrity has to admit that most adults today are little more than spoiled, overly indulged brats who evidence an obsessive focus on their rights to do whatever they please, with little or no consideration for what their responsibilities to others might be. And this is precisely what the permissive parenting of the last 70 years has led to: three generations of spoiled brats and wicked fools.

The truth is that every child needs a healthy balance of discipline, instruction and love growing up, as Robert Lewis teaches in the second year of his Men’s Fraternity course, entitled, Winning at Work & Home. Figure 2 below illustrates the different styles of parenting, in which bothhigh love and high discipline and instruction produce the healthiest children and ultimately, healthy adults who do not suffer from seriously distorted thinking.

Figure 2: Parenting Styles

[To be updated later]

In this figure, each parenting style is numbered from 1 (best) to 4 (worst) in terms of the health of children raised in each type of parenting environment, according to Lewis. Children do not need either love or discipline and instruction from those entrusted with caring for and raising them, namely their parents, they need both.

YHWH (God) models these exact same attributes in the Bible. He is loving toward those who fear Him and keep all His commandments, but not to everyone. The Bible is crystal clear on this. God chooses to have nothing to do with the wicked and the foolish. As such, God’s love is always conditioned upon the respectful and responsible actions of His adopted sons and daughters, those of us who manifest righteousness and wisdom. If God’s love were to be unconditional, man would have no reason to have a healthy fear, respect and reverence for God and man would have very little reason to attempt to keep His commandments. Thus, the notion that God’s love for anyone is unconditional is totally absurd and quite ridiculous.

Similarly, it follows that asserting our love for others is or ever should be without reasonable expectations of respectful and responsible behaviors from others in return is equally absurd and ridiculous. Let’s stop kidding ourselves. Those who promote this foolish notion almost always are seeking to avoid being held accountable for their harmful and selfish actions. Don’t allow yourself to be conned by this scam and wicked fraud one minute longer!

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